Wat Not only that, but they don’t even know who the fuck I am. I’m 22 years old thinking “Huh, these machine stories might have gotten outta control”. Bert has a few different Netflix specials, Secret Time, The Machine and Hey Big Boy. I was the guy who, when you’d sit at a party, they’d be like, “Oh my God, did you hear about the time Bert shit on a pizza box?” Or “Did you hear about the time that Bert climbed to the top of the telephone pole and yelled, ‘I have marijuana!’ and there were like a thousand kids? Bert Kreischer. May 11th, 2015. I can’t do what Hannah Gadsby does. I was a kid who was interested in partying. Im The Man. FINALLY. About Bert Kreischer I am a Party Animal, Comedian, Actor, Author, Host, Hesitant Passenger, Fast Eater, Glutton, Husband, Dad...I am the Machine. Currently, between Kreischer’s Facebook and YouTube, “The Machine” has over 70 million views, but that doesn’t count the views across the many content aggregators who have reposted the clip. Sinopsis: We sat down and she unzipped her pants and she had what I remember as ten grand, five grand, in cash in a hidden fanny pack in her pants. I've heard Kreischer as a guest on podcasts many times before and he is an incredibly sweet man. Copy embed to clipboard. Speak about that agenda. In her fourth stand-up special, Whitney Cummings returns to her hometown of Washington, D.C., and riffs on modern feminism, relationships, technology and, of course, sex robots. Buy 'I Am The Machine' by Ur2ez6464 as a Essential T-Shirt. They are not to be our friends.” I already knew what was going on. Already a subscriber? Pulling double duty as host and musical guest, Nick Jonas keeps things moving while making apparent where his primary talents lie. And I was like, “Oh, I am definitely meeting these guys.” And by the way, everyone in this Russian class were kids that were interested in learning Russian, if that makes any sense. Bert Kreischer's new stand-up comedy special, The Machine, is an hour of unbelievable stories featuring everything from Bert's run-in with a grizzly bear to his legendary experience in ... See full summary ». And the cops were like, ‘Hold on, arrest him!’ And I was like, ‘It’s not here, you idiot. No one ever has asked me to do a show. Famous for the seven years he spent raging at Florida State University, Kreischer parlayed his notoriety into a career as an “extreme” reality television host … Open comments. But that for me was … All of a sudden, when the adventure started is when she did that. Things involving Bert Kreischer can take on a mythic quality. Bert Kreischer! Legendary has optioned the rights to develop comedian Bert Kreischer’s story “The Machine” into a feature film following its viral success, sources tell Variety. Share to Reddit. Thank you so much.” Then they walked out of the room and they were like, “Listen,” and they were very clear: “Do not speak to them. Share to Reddit. Bert Kreischer IAm The Machine GIF SD GIF HD GIF MP4. I've heard Kreischer as a guest on podcasts many times before and he is an incredibly sweet man. Bert Kreischer is one of the greatest storytellers of his generation. Bert Kreischer - The Machine text transcript. I’ll just say, a lot of my friends were bothered by Nanette. I didn’t want people to say, “Hey, guys, the Comedy Store is gonna be over in five weeks. Rachel Lindsay Disables Her Instagram After ‘Harassing’ From, Her podcast co-host Van Lathan said, “Rachel is not responsible for Chris Harrison, a 49-year-old man who can’t read the room.”, Lady Gaga’s Stolen French Bulldogs Returned After Armed Robbery. Let’s smoke it.”. 2,211 ... and I had a sentence planned, this is what i was gonna say “zdravstvuyte moye imya Bert eto priyatno vstretit'sya koshkaaaa” which means hey, my name’s bert, ... was “I am the machine.” And I am the exact opposite. Bert Kreischer: The Machine 2016 | TV-MA | 1h 10m | Comedies From his run-in with a grizzly bear to partying with the Russian mafia, the shirtless comic returns with … The windows in the rains are way to narrow for a grown man to fit trough though. Just going through life, having fun, doing crazy stuff. I’m here to get fucking crazy.”. All these guys with these dick jokes and these un-woke jokes … The new future of comedy is, ‘Have an agenda. After the Final Rose as we’ve never seen it before. Bert Kreischer: The Machine (TV) es una película dirigida por Ryan Polito con Bert Kreischer. Celebrate Black History Month with IMDb's exclusive galleries, recommendations, videos, and more. Bert motherfucking Kreischer. That is who I was. I told it two nights in a row, which is so odd on radio. Bert Kreischer. It’s such a great joke. Read the transcript of "Bert Kreischer: Secret Time" (2018). I then got into a business where I realized if you weren’t telling your own stories, no one was listening. Use the HTML below. Bert Kreischer: I am The Machine will premiere at the NewFilmmakers Los Angeles Festival January 10, 2015 at 10:15 p.m. You can find out more information about the festival by visiting www.newfilmmakersla.com. I can put my finger on that.” So the machine story was not a story I ever would tell onstage. Año: 2016. It was just me telling you a story of what I did. I loved the detail, but my teacher came back to my seat. You must be a registered user to use the IMDb rating plugin. Share to Pinterest. bert kreischer Verified account @bertkreischer. I believe a few years ago I found Comedian Bert Kreischer on Netflix. Standup comedian Bert Kreischer, AKA, "The Machine," will make an appearance in Evansville this weekend as part of his Berty Boy World Tour. 15,461 talking about this. Bert Kreischer. I don’t know how to, and I wouldn’t know how to do it and do it well. The plane ride was when I found out we’re paying off the Mafia. It felt like the kids at the Thanksgiving table were rolling their eyes at mom and dad going, “Let’s get the fuck out of here. ... Share to Pinterest. Im The Man. A look at the life on the road of successful stand-up comedian, Bert Kreischer. Kreischer is … Share to Facebook. Enter your location to see which movie theaters are playing DocuWest Presents Bert Kreischer: I Am the Machine near you. Bert Kreischer: I Am The Machine (2014) Plot. 2,211 ... and I had a sentence planned, this is what i was gonna say “zdravstvuyte moye imya Bert eto priyatno vstretit'sya koshkaaaa” which means hey, my name’s bert, ... was “I am the machine.” Título original: Bert Kreischer: The Machine (TV). I want to say I was sitting in row 35. It's crazy seeing this video blow up on Facebook. … I definitely can’t do what Drew Michaels does at all. I am a Party Animal, Comedian, Actor, Author, Host, Fast Eater, Husband, Dad...I am the Machine! All rights reserved. The majority of people will know Bert for his famous routine about becoming an honorary member of the Russian mafia and shouting “I am the Machine!” as it was the only phrase Russian phrase he knew. also i guess if your a fan of Bert Kreischer (a.k.a. Featuring him, Igor, Sasha, and some more people. Bert Kreischer The Machine GIF SD GIF HD GIF MP4. They’re off to the right. Unicorns aren’t real.” And I went, Oh my God! In 1997 he was featured in an article in Rolling Stone while attending Florida State University. If I was telling this story now for the first time, it would be fucking bananas. Share to Twitter. Embed. Tune in to Good One every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. He's admitted himself that he heard it from someone else. In comic’s stand-up special “The Machine,” the story follows Kreischer’s adventure as a seventh-year senior at … Get those people with that agenda to come to your shows. V. Vanessanicolebennett. The Machine. Clem then went and made sure The Machine's autograph became … And then she’s angry at me, and I actually know she’s talking to me. bert kreischer, bill burr, bill bert podcast, 2 bears 1 cave, tom segura, your moms house, russia story, the machine, chris delia, congratulations podcast, cops, cattle auction, joey diaz, the church of whats happening now, ginger whiskey, andrew santino, joe rogan experience, jre, the fighter and the kid, bryan callen, brendan schuab, the king and the sting You can read some excerpts from the transcript or listen to the full episode below. That’s the other part: When she was yelling, I think she was actually speaking to Bert Kreischer. ... Bert Kreischer: The Machine $7.99. Cameo lets you book personalized videos from your favorite people. I knew they were going to be my friends. Kreischer says in the video after he signs the autograph, which read "Bt, The Machine." Share to Facebook. “Noshing and Moshing” spotlights a new freak/geek pairing defined by their shared familial frustration, and their very different responses to it. Go watch my specials #TheMachine … "I am the machine. © 2021 Vox Media, LLC. The special earned rave reviews from critics and fans alike. Don’t make strangers laugh.’”. Hannah does what she does, and there’s such confidence in what she does, and such a voice and a thumbprint on what she does. Bert’s all new stand-up comedy special, The Machine, is an hour of unbelievable stories featuring everything from Bert’s run-in with a grizzly bear to his legendary experience in Russia where he was dubbed “The Machine.” Bert Kreischer: The Schlubby Inspiration For ‘Van Wilder’ Becomes A Touring ‘Machine’ 9:41 AM, Monday, 1/13/2020 By: Ryan Borba Bert Kreischer's new stand-up comedy special, The Machine, is an hour of unbelievable stories featuring everything from Bert's run-in with a grizzly bear to his legendary experience in Russia where he was dubbed "The Machine". “The Machine” was a story Kreischer would tell at parties, backstage, or in meetings for years, but he’d never do it onstage. Specials #HeyBigBoy #TheMachine & #SecretTime now on Netflix! Look for the machine story from his special. But for Bert Kreischer, dubbed the “top partier at the Number One Party School” by Rolling Stone, “The Machine” still made sense. Directed by Jeff Hinman, Jeff Johnson. level 2. Check here for upcoming tour dates, link to the latest Bertcast and some rocking merchandise. Along with his live performances and standup comedy specials — 2016's DVE Comedy Festival - Bert Kreischer - The Machine - YouTube I was the guy who, my entire life, was oblivious to how I was perceived, how I was interacting with people, and how I was behaving. His story for the show was about his experience wrestling a bear for the television series Hurt Bert. Justin and Eric talk about how they sent Bert Kreischer a care package of cigars and scotch, and how Bert Kreischer post a video of him opening it and shouting out The Burn Down Podcast! V. Vanessanicolebennett. You had to be your own promoter, which I was instinctually uncomfortable with. If you’re going to get to the base of who I am as a performer, that one moment when someone calls in and says, “Tell them about the time that you robbed the train in Russia,” that’s who I am. The first time I listened to the podcast was by chance back when Bert was on the first time and told this story. Watch Denali Do a Backflip on Skates in Her, Victoria Monét Gives Birth to Her First Bébé. Bert Kreischer's "I AM THE MACHINE" photos! I just wanted to be the guy that got spots that the managers are like, “Oh, I can identify that. We’ve paid them to stay with us. (2014). Report Save. But the joke’s breakthrough wouldn’t happen until a month later, at a professional low point, when Kreischer clipped the story and put it on his YouTube channel and Facebook page. Made this as a gift for a Spoiled little c**t that i call my friend. She was probably just like a year older than me. "I AM THE MACHINE!" So what I did is I mashed up that whole thing and just had the teacher introduce them as the Mafia. View production, box office, & company info. Los Angeles police confirmed the two dogs were dropped off unharmed. 4 years ago. Why do people still argue that "The Machine" story is true? He's so good at it, he's been able to parlay it into a career as the funniest middle-aged man telling his crazy drinking stories onstage. They’re going to be our chaperones. The first thing you will notice about the new Netflix original series The Cabin is that it is hosted by Bert Kreischer the stand-up comedian. Back stage, on stage and everywhere in between, this documentary is real, authentic, honest and very funny. Monét shared a photo of baby Hazel’s li’l baby hand on Instagram. Fans might recognize Bert Kreischer’s name from comedy clubs and his Netflix standups but he’s about to make an impression on moviegoers everywhere with The Machine.
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